Hi, I´m Kaisa
I’m happy you found your way to this blog!
I’m a sensitive, adventurous introvert (INFJ/HSP/HSS) with an entrepreneurial, maverick spirit. For the Human Design fans out there, I’m a Projector (3/5).
I feel like a writer at my core, and it’s the only thing that has stuck with me throughout my entire life. Starting from writing stories as a kid, filling my grandfather’s notebooks in the early 90s, using all of his pencils.
Writing is something that has never left, and it’s something I feel is within me, a crucial part in the way I exists and make sense of the world.
I love the intersection between the human and the spiritual. There is something so fascinating about taking spiritual concepts and applying them into this messy human life.
My writing is something that helps me make sense of this world, and it helps me navigate the human experience. When I really get into a flow, it’s as if the words just come through me, and it’s always exactly what I need to hear to move forward in my life.
It’s my wish that these writings will resonate with you as well, that they will help you as they have helped me, and that we will feel connected in this strange experience of existence.
Want to share your own story, or contact me about something else? I’d love to hear from you!
“May we all know ourselves as the Universe created us. May we all know life as we were meant to live it. May we all love purely, deeply and totally. May humanity discover its divinity, and may we all dwell in the peace of the Universe”
– A Course in Miracles
From there to here…
A little bit of my story from Finland to the Philippines, and from Corporate to Yoga and back (sprinkled with divorce at 30 and motherhood at 39). All of it to show you – it’s never too crazy, and it’s never too late.
2001: Bye bye Finland, hello freedom!
I left Finland when I was 21. My tiny apartment was packed into a trailer, and the further my Dutch boyfriend drove us from Finland, the more ecstatic I felt. The feeling of freedom was intoxicating, and in many ways that feeling, that level of freedom, continues to be my life’s pursuit.
2009: Divorce at 30
I don’t think I was particularly good at being 20. I wasn’t care-free and adventurous really, I was mostly studying and taking care of my Dutch boyfriend – turned husband who was ill after a serious burn-out. Somewhere between starting my career and starting a family I realized I wanted none of it. I wanted out.
So just before my 30th birthday I packed my IKEA furniture and settled into a rental apartment, purposefully committing myself to a year of sitting, thinking and reflecting. I had been with my partner for almost all of my 20s. Who was I without him?
2010: The heart knows
The feeling grew so strong I could not resist it anymore. I needed to move back to Finland.
It made little sense. My best friends were in the Netherlands, as was my career, my apartment and my entire life for the past decade. But I needed to go back. The feeling was so strong that I knew to follow it. So I made reasons. I would be closer to my family. I was feeling lonely after living alone in the Netherlands without family for 1.5 years. I wanted to live in Finland as an adult. All these reasons were valid and accepted by others, but they were not the real reason. The only reason I left was because my heart told me to. To remind me of this, I tattooed these Dutch words onto my side in the heart of Amsterdam: Het hart besluit. The heart decides. And what it decides is the only thing that matters.
2011: The start of everything
Two weeks after my arrival to Finland I decided to visit a Dutch new year’s party in Helsinki. I was late, it was snowing sideways, and I wanted to skip but I didn’t. And that was the start of everything. That was the evening I knew why my heart had guided me to Finland. Over a wooden table, wearing oddly comfortable borrowed slippers, I locked eyes with a man and the world stopped for a long moment. It was not love at first sight, it was something else. Recognition. Home-coming. And I just knew.
He was married, it was messy, but it was meant to be. Only 3.5 months later the marriage ended, and after 9 months we were living together. To this date he remains my favorite part of life.
2013: You can live like this?!
I have always had a love-hate relationship with my corporate job in the Financial Services, but during 2012 it turned into a hate relationship. I burned out, and wanted to do something else with my life, something entirely different. I started a Life Coaching study and a Yoga Teacher Training, and we took a 5-week holiday to the Philippines with my partner. There we met a Swiss couple who managed a yoga and dive resort on one of the islands. I could not believe it. WHY DIDN’T ANYONE TELL ME THAT YOU CAN ALSO LIVE LIKE THIS?! This kind of life was possible?!
When we returned to Finland, I had run out of excuses to stay in a job / life / country I hated. Things needed to change.
2013: I Quit!
I always thought that the moment I would quit my corporate job I would be dancing all the way to the office and back. But there was no dancing. I was petrified, and felt like I needed to breathe into a paper bag on an hourly basis. But I did it anyways. I felt I needed to quit and start my own coaching business, and I left my job without any guarantees or without a business to back me up. It was crazy, but I was so sure. My boss offered me the opportunity to work 3 days a week, which would have made perfect sense – covering my costs while building up my business.
But there was this voice within that kept saying: jump completely. You have to jump completely. So I did.
2014: Hello beach life!
The Universe is amazing. The DAY AFTER I quit my job (no joke), acquaintances from the Philippines sent us an email asking if we would be interested in running their small beach resort for them. My partner would be the Dive Instructor and manager of the dive shop (while I had been busy with coaching and yoga, he had totally fallen for diving), and I would do guest relations and yoga. We said YES, and 3 months later sat in an airplane with a one-way ticket to Manila (oh, and to make things sweeter, we went via Bali where we stayed for 2 months while my partner finished his dive instructor training, and I finished my yoga teacher training 200hrs).
I remember walking through the streets of Manila, smelling the sweet warm air and thinking- we are here now. We don’t have to back anymore! We were 35 and 40 and living out of 1 bag each, and I felt like I had just done the impossible!
2017: Back to Europe, please
We had an amazing three years. When we started, we knew nothing about hospitality, had never lived in Asia before, I had never taught yoga and my partner had not certified anyone yet. But that didn’t stop us. We even started our own business, Reconnect Discover, which organized yoga & diving retreats on the island. This was a mad leap of faith, all of it was completely crazy, and I loved every minute of it. Until I didn’t. The 24/7 tourism business started to wear me out, and to be honest I was getting bored. All my days seemed the same, filled with the same scenery, the same activities and the same jokes to the guests. I longed for something else, an intellectual world, and a place of my own. In July 2017 I landed back in Europe (we chose the Netherlands). I was 38 years old, homeless and unemployed, with €400 on my savings account.
2018: Come through me, little one
Like always, life supports you. I rented a room from friends for a few months, while my partner finished things off in the Philippines. I got a job (in Financial Services), my partner found a job as a graphic designer, and we moved into a rental apartment. As I said, I was 38 and felt I had a choice to make – child or no child? This however wasn’t a choice I was able to make using logic and analysis, so I left it to the Universe.
After a beautiful meditation I wrote a poem that said: Come through me my child, if you wish. I am here and I will not stand in your way. If you want to join us on this incarnation, come through me now – I will show you the earth, and you can remind me of heaven. 3 weeks later I was pregnant. Our son was born 6 days after I turned 39. (Read the full post here)
2019: Kick-Starting a Passion project
During my maternity leave in the early 2019 I realized that the thing I most loved to do was to create concepts for others, build them, launch them and then move on. I had already launched my crazy dream and gotten to experience the wild and the crazy, and now I wanted others to have the same experience. I wanted to support other women in launching their passion projects, and I wanted to use my kick-start energy for the good of others. And so my second passion business was born, Passion Kick-Starter. For the following 3 years I gave it my all, learned branding and web design from almost scratch, and hustled like a women on fire. Until the fire burned out mid 2022, and I closed by business. But as the Universe would show me, that wasn’t the end of my passion business, and I still love it (but now on a part-time basis).
2022: The Art of Allowing
Which brings us here… The only place I have ever truly known. A place where I fulfill the only purpose I have ever truly known to be true. To experience the human existence in all of its forms and shapes, and then write about it. Write about the intersection of what it means to be a human and a divine being wrapped in one. Writing is my first love, and surely will be my last one as well. In between there is a beautiful chain of human experiences, all of which are full of wisdom to write home about.