Attending to your soul and spirit

I have always felt that a person can either have wings, or roots.

You are either rooted down like a stable tree, or your wings take you from place to place without the desire to settle down.

I have recently began to understand the difference between soul and spirit, and how this relates to the rootedness, or wildness, we feel within.

After reading the beautiful book “A Life at Work” by Thomas Moore, I look at my life from a slightly different perspective.

Grounding or flying

Soul is grounding. Soul looks within, is rooted and comes alive in the everyday life of home, family, connections and friendships. Much like roots on a tree, it goes deep and is full of magical life force that makes us blossom.

And much like nature, the soul follows the natural rhythm of life. Sadness and joy, winter and summer, it’s all part of this living experience, and the soul needs all of it.

“Soul gets lost when life can’t go on its rhythmic way, and soullessness is the ultimate cause of deep satisfaction“, says Moore.

When the soul is alive, we feel connected with those around us, we feel like we belong. When we are present in the moment, pouring love into what we do.

Spirit on the other hand is more like wings on your back instead roots on your feet. Spirit is about growth, adventure, experiment and discovery.

Whereas the soul invites us to go deep, spirit takes us high. It asks us to follow our passions, show ambition and play with creativity. It wants us to move on, keep going and fly further.

Filled with spirit

When you look at your life, are these two forces in balance, or is one overruling the other?

Looking at my life, I see that there has been too much focus on the spirit, and not enough for the soul. I always felt like my wings were too big and too strong to allow me root down anywhere. This has brought me a life full of adventure and discovery, but perhaps also restless and disconnection.

Most of my 20s and 30s have been about flying, often quite literally. I have moved countries and continents, started and quit jobs, started and ended businesses and rebuilt my life more times than I can remember.

I never wanted to root down.

It seemed impossible to choose one place on this glorious earth to call home, and then stay there. I didn’t want to be a tree, I wanted to be a bird flying high, never touching the ground. I didn’t understand trees, why didn’t they want to move and see the beauties of the world? And trees did not understand me – why are you so restless, they’d ask.

But I wasn’t restless. I was filled with spirit.

Finding my soul

At the end of my 30s I received an invitation from my soul. I didn’t see it as such at the time, but it came in the form of another human being, namely my son.

I gave birth few days after my 39th birthday, and I really wanted to provide stability and roots for my son.

So we bought a house, my first own home, when I was 40. I finally started to grow roots, I finally started to go deeper and feel connected. I was becoming stable. But in my mind I didn’t do it for myself, I did it for my son.

Or so I thought.

Having spent the last 4.5 years building a home and stable structures for my son, feeling connected in my neighborhood and feeling like a part of the community, my soul has started to blossom.

I am realizing that although I claim to have done all of this for my son, in the process I have also done it for myself. Because I needed it more than anyone else. I needed it more than I realized.

I get so much pleasure out of knowing how much security and stability my son has in his tiny life, and I realize, this was also for me.

Maybe I needed this wild little person to show me that there is beauty in rootedness and stillness. Maybe I needed Covid to tell me that there is freedom in taking the time to watch the trees blossom outside our window.

As my roots have slowly grown, I have been finding my way back to my soul.

My soul is nourished and my spirit is free

As with everything, balance is key. Too much of one thing is not good. Too much of rootedness can lead to boredom, too much spirit can lead to restlessness and disconnection.

After tending to my soul for the past years, I will let my spirit free once more.

I will step in an airplane and fly across the equator – alone. I will let my spirit guide me into adventures, discoveries and newness. I will dive into the warm waters, and stretch my hands towards the coconuts. I will wonder the tiny streets of Bali and feel the tropical breeze on my skin once more.

I can do it with such pleasure now, because I know I have roots that will pull me back.

I’m not a bird anymore, but a kite that can soar so high, knowing it’s safe and rooted by those holding its strings. I’m not drifting, because my roots are steady and grounded. I’m not lost, because the string will always guide me back to safety.

I’m slowly starting to understand this delicate balance between spirit and soul.

I’m slowly starting to see that when my soul is nourished, my spirit is free, too.